I've been thinking a lot lately about the differences between stay-at-home and stay-at-work moms. If the world were perfect, I would love to be able to stay at home with our baby girl. In this perfect world, I would also own my home, have two reliable and safe vehices, and always have spare money to travel to see my family. Fortunately and unfortunately, I live in the real world. None of those things in my perfect world are my reality right now.
And that's okay.
I get that it's a huge sacrifice and a huge gift and in turn, a huge reward to be at home. It's something that I'd ultimately like to do. Maybe I'll be able to when #2 comes around. Maybe not.
I'm making my sacrifice in a different way. I'm not continuing to work to get ahead in my career. I'm working because it means that my daughter will be able to know her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, in the US personally. We will be able to travel at least once and hopefully twice a year. We wouldn't be able to travel even once on one salary.
I'm working so that my husband and my daughter can have access to better healthcare and in case of an emergency, they will have way more opportunities for care. We can't afford outside health care on one salary.
I'm working so that my daughter will be able to have the best bilingual education possible in this city. If I weren't working, there would be zero possibility for her to go to the American School. As much as I can complain about the school, it really is the best there is especially for younger kids. This doesn't mean we want our children in this school forever because there are definitely cons to having our kids there.
I'm working so that we can save money to be able to buy a house for our family. I'm not working so that I have more money in my pocket, more coffee breaks and dinners out, more shopping trips, etc. We want a place where our children can call home and that we can call "ours."
I think staying at home is an incredible gift and a wonderful career choice. However, that doesn't mean that going to work isn't a just as beautiful and difficult sacrifice that a woman makes for her family.
Stepping off soapbox in 3, 2, 1.
ooooooh cute new background shanny! Thanks for sharing your heart in your post. When I had #1, I worked as a Nanny and Household Mgr. for a big wig named Dellllllliiiiiiillllahhhhhhhh, you know "lights out and love songs"??? What that really means is change the sheets on 2 kids beds every morning and pick up the Jr. Higher's clothes off of the floor. I found something where I could take the baby with me. I think I just got lucky. While I was doing this, Jeffry was commuting from Bremerton to Chehalis (2 hr. commute each way). So basically, my job payed for his gas. But I had to work. We would not have made it without it. Now with child #2 coming along, I quit that job and watched friends' kids in our home. Now with #3 coming along, I am retiring and the plan is for me to be at home FT. But on the flip side, my husband works a gagillion hours and we're trying to get out of debt...so we can start saving for him to go back to school to get his PhD. I am wanting to stay at home then too, but chances are that I'll have to work in some shape or form. And on top of all this, we still want more kids -- but I think we may have a little "pause in the program" after 3... yes, it is all about sacrafices. Don't be discoraged. You just have to do what is right for you at the time, and it probably won't be like that forever. xoxo Amy
ReplyDeleteGreat post and I can so relate- if you ever want to talk, feel free to write (or I can call you- it's cheaper from our end to yours, I think) Hope you can be at peace knowing you're making a beautiful decision for your family with the life God has given you!! Much love!
ReplyDeleteSacrifice is the name of the game sister! Working half time so I can have insurance but still pay $285 a month out of my already meager salary...I guess I can handle it because that means I'm the one raising Liam...not a daycare service. You do what's best for your family...lucky for you, you don't have to pay for daycare on top of working full time...that's just a slap in the face. That's how we decided for me to stay home half time. After paying full time daycare costs, I would only be bringing in an additional $300 a month than a half time salary would be. Plus this way, Ana Victoria will have the best grammar in her English class and know where to put apostrophes!
ReplyDelete